Confessions of a Keyboard Scratch Player

With social media at an all time high, it is no surprise to see that even the golf world has flocked to the likes of Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and Facebook in their thousands, myself included. It seems there are plenty of people who want to share their golf experiences to a much wider audience rather than just their usual four ball; whether using it as a forum to provide golf tuition, to demonstrate both the ups and downs of golf, or create a million golf related memes that have us tagging all our mates who are three putt champs or who need a bucket and spade to get out of a bunker!

This video which I uploaded a while ago is no exception to this. I understand that for some people this is pretty hilarious, but for me, the guy living it, moments like this suck and make you question why you play the game! Especially when your the idiot down the driving range not looking too inconspicuous in these brightly coloured trousers, I’m sure people spotted this horrendous duff from a mile away!

My outlook to golf and social media has all been one of honesty and the opportunity to convey a journey of a random guy (a nobody) starting golf from the beginning (My Golf evolution) but ensuring that I keep it real and fun… after all why do something if you don’t enjoy it? (For those interested in my blog, you can find it here)

At present, I am nine months into the game, I’m officially handicapped at 26 – although I’m probably closer to 20 these days! It’s been a hard slog even getting this far though, the first few months were spent miss-hitting every other ball like this

or zig-zagging my way up the fairway 50 yards at a time – this is what earned me my nickname – Captain Caveman, as I would always hit the ball like a Neanderthal. In honesty, if it wasn’t for the support of the blog or the love for telling my stories I probably would have quit a long time ago, as I’m sure you all know from your own experiences, golf can be pretty cruel sometimes – it often leaves you with that missed putt which ends up just one inch away from the cup, or allows you to make a spectacular tee shot, only to be met by a terrible second shot that usually lands in a hazard.

With this all in mind, I’d like to think that I understand more than most online golfers how hard golf is; I often get frustrated with myself for not playing very well, shanking my ball left to right or dunking every ball I hit into the water and i’m generally struggling to get the numbers down to even the high teens. It’s not that I don’t practice at it either, at present I must be close to 25 hours a week golfing which usually comprises of a few range sessions per week when I’m trying to grind the swing and shot directions and now that the nights are lighter, this has enabled me to get to the course almost every other night and for the average golfer this is probably quite a lot!

So with this in mind and a pretty good understanding of how much time it takes to get the scores low and actually become a half decent golfer, this leads me on to my next part – Warning!! This is not for the faint of heart or those who are easily offended and is merely an observation that has enabled me to create a funny story about the socialites of the internet – so bear that in mind before I have to write about the keyboard warriors too..

Well I’m starting to notice that there are more and more ‘Keyboard Scratch Players’ appearing on social media in order to increase their following. For those of you who are not familiar with the term, ‘Keyboard Scratch Players’ are those golfers who usually only started playing a few weeks ago and are already able to out-drive Bubba Watson with a pitching wedge and who post shot tracers that look like this.

They often complete their first ever round of golf around three over, usually with that Pro-V1 that they have somehow never lost, and its even more noticeable following some golfers online who only ever seem to own one pair of clothes – usually a complete matching Nike set. (Probably the only picture I can’t get you!)

It almost seems like they have only been down the range or course once in their lifetime, taken a video of each and every swing and used to it to create several months worth of content, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they only own one club too – as its rare you ever see them hit anything other than a driver five thousand yards let alone see their golf-bag.

They can offer you pro tips like no other, that will somehow improve every other persons game but their own and it seems when they eventually run out of swings to upload they grab a club run out into the garden and take a selfie with the caption #golfday (Now, why didn’t i think of that? Oh wait I did!)

Golf Selfie

For some reason I imagine these guys to be the hard core gamers of our world, who could probably thrash us all at Wii golf or the Tigers Woods PGA game, but give them a real club and they would struggle to make it past the Ladies tee… (Kids tee if they are a lady, or the first tree if they are a child!)

I could be wrong though, maybe I am just a bad golfer who barely manages to make it past the ladies tee myself? An example no more prolific than in one of my YouTube videos where I can hardly hit a club (Please give it a watch and subscribe if you want to encounter more honest, fun golf)

I’m starting to believe golf is a game much like a roller coaster at times, it can bring you up with great shots and scores, then bring you crashing down with a million bogies one after another, we are forever striving for consistency – but there is one thing I have learnt about this game and all it has to offer, and that is never golf easy and always golf hard.

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